Ten Effective Ways To Deal With Your Critics

I have found several ways to deal with all criticisms. It is full frontal and no nonsense. It can be painful to those who are subject to it, but that should make using it all the more fun. It has been used effectively in several countries, so that makes its application likely to get the desired results. I will give 10 examples of hard questions or statements and show how each can be demolished with a short sharp reply (in italics). The technique works for each general case.

1. US politics: Is President Barack Obama black? Much superficial evidence suggests that POTUS is black, but the fact that he is president shows clearly he is not. Case closed.

2. Racial profiling: Did Sgt. Crowley unfairly arrest Prof. Gates? A black man, walking around a posh house in a white neighbourhood? Obviously a crook. Case closed.

3. Barbadian economic performance: Is PM David Thompson single-handedly destroying the Barbadian economy? Man, open yer eyes! Case closed.

4. Jamaica in the world: Is Jamaica a failed state? Tschoupse! Bredrin, ow me fi ansa dat de qwestyan? Me cyan read. Me na ha nuh jab. Me av ten pickney wid five wimmin. How me fi go spen time tinking bout dat deh foolishness?

5. Homosexuality: Are Caribbean people more homophobic than the rest of the world? Bredda, yu is a batty man? Is only batty man hask dem deh qwestyan? Yu wan me set yu pon fiya?

6. Xenophobia: Would you like your sweet Bajan daughter to marry an Indo-Guyanese boy of good standing, who owns a Jaguar, a house, and a sugar factory? Velda. Bring me my shotgun.

7. Immigration: Why don't we just let other Caricom nationals come here to work and live and enjoy the delights we have created? Velda. Bring me my shotgun (southern Caribbean island territories). OR Bredda, yu is a batty man? Is only batty man hask dem deh qwestyan? Yu wan me set yu pon fiya? (northern territories, except The Bahamas). OR Bey, dem can dance Junkanoo? (The Bahamas).

8. Economic development: How can we create lasting prosperity for everyone in the Caribbean? Wuk up yu self!

9. The British influence on life: Do you like your country welcoming plane loads of English people every day to sit on your beaches, drink their beer and belch their way through two weeks? Velda. Bring me my shotgun. OR Wuk up yu self! OR Dem does tek fiwi dolla in chanyge?

10: Education: Do you feel that your child will get a good education and be able to go to university? Man, I don' pay de minister yestday an he tell me everting fix. So, yes.

There are no issues relating to health that will ever be raised, because people now fear assault at the mere mention of payment (see POTUS's problems), so have adopted a safety first approach.

There you have it.