I'm just looking for a pussy.

The last few days have been too traumatic. Some things a man cannot do without and will search hard to find.

The big hairy pussy that I enjoyed in my bedroom every night could not be seen, and would not come no matter how much enticement I tried. "All of that stroking and for what?" I thought. I lifted up every piece of clothing I could put my hand on, but no pussy. I got frustrated but not angry, and yelled "Why you wont come? You don't love me anymore? The small rod I had been using to probe with was still in my hand and I pushed it once more under the rumpled clothing. I could feel nothing. I stormed out of the bedroom and uttered that well-known Jamaican sound of frustration, "Cho!"

I went to the bathroom and washed my hands. "You stay there. You think I care? You goin' be sorry." My wife looked at me puzzled. "Why you making so much noise? You want to wake up everybody? If you want to find the pussy, I suggest you go out to the street and look for it there." For once she was talking sense, and I slammed the front door as I went out into the darkness of the night. I hoped that I would find what I was looking for.

When morning came, I was back at home and lying half asleep, tired on the sofa. No matter how hard I had tried I had not found any pussy. The phone rang. "Yes. Morning." I answered. There was a pause. "I have something for you," the lady's voice said. I felt myself stiffen quickly as I heard her speak. "I have a pussy here at my house. You want to come for it?" My heart started to beat at a rate of knots. I jumped off the sofa and ran to the door with a quick "Soon come!" to my wife. I rushed through the door and ran to my neighbouring lady friend's house. She opened the door as I approached. She was in a light nightgown. "You ready for it?" she asked. What a question. "Of course. Just give it to me." I walked in and she closed the door. She took my hand and guided it. "Feel this." she said. I could feel hair; it was wet, and there was a smell I knew very well. "Oh!" I moaned. She stroked my head. Tears came down my cheek and my lips started to tremble. I had found what I had been looking for all night.

The cat was dead and lying under a blanket, her coat was still damp, and covered in blood. She had been hit by a car. Now, like her, we can all rest in peace.