Usain, mi love you.

Usain Bolt's performances in Beijing during the past seven days have electrified athletics, and peoples' reactions to sport. Most seem to love what he represents. A young Jamaica poet has written how she has been smitten my Usain, and her marriage is quickly heading for the rocks. Her husband may need to bolt her down before she bolts. A friend shared with me the poem below. If you are an English speaker but cannot understand the Patois, just read slowly and all should come clear. If you are not an Anglophone, you have the gist of the poem above: go to Jamaica, eat plenty of yam and dumplings, and your tongue and ears will soon adjust. Trust me.

Usain Bolt And Mi

By – Joan Andrea Hutchinson

Usain mi dawlin, mi just want yuh fi know dat sake a yuh, mi marriage almost mash up di odder day, because a piece of jealousy teck my husband.

Well wah never happen in a year happen in a day

Mi kyaan believe mi eyes

Ever since Usain Bolt win di Olympics 100 metres

Fi mi husband start exercise

Yuh tink a lickle talk mi a talk to him

Bout how him belly a get big

Mi tired fi tell him how him a get waggaty

An start to fayva pig

Mi spend mi money sign him up a gym

Steam vegetable gi him every day

Him suck him teet an say “Man must have guts”

And galang him merry way

But when Usain Bolt win di Olympic 100 metre gold

An mi start fi scream

“Usain Bolt mi love yuh, mi love yuh, mi love yuh

Yuh fulfill mi wildest dream”

Mi run up an dung inna di living room like mi mad

All liddung pon di floor

Mi say “Usain, a long time no man no excite mi so

Mi ago love yuh more and more”

Right now mi have picture of Usain Bolt pon every wall

And one beside mi bed

One pon mi t-shirt, two inna mi purse

And a Usain Bolt inna mi head

Usain Bolt full mi up wid so much pride

Mi doan even waan fi eat

And when mi talk bout how him body look good

Mi husband say mi sound like mi a cheat

Him mout long up and say mi have young bway nature

An a long time mi love mawga man

When mi tell him say Usain Bolt just meck mi feel good

Him say mi a behave like more dan fan

Him bex like bullfrog di odda morning

How mi gi him di breakfast cold

Sake a mi a watch di rerun a Usain a gi dem donkey length

Fi win di 100 metre gold

Dem show di race again when mi a cook di Satiday soup

Mi gi out “What a mawga man can run”

Mi dis hear “it come een like say sake a dis mawga man

Mi an mi Satiday soup a get bun”

Well Usain mi dawlin, dem say who bex lose

So mi say later fi him

But one ting mi know all of a sudden him start eat healty

And find himself a gym

And between mi an yuh Usain, him proud a yuh big time

But mi dear, nuh watch no face

Yuh name write pon mi heart dat Satiday when yuh get di gold

Inna di Olympics 100 metre race

joanandreahutchinson@chat-bout.net