Oh, My Girdle Is Pinching Me

I don't know what it is about Barbados, but every few months or so, the country finds its girdle all twisted, or its knicker elastic pinching, or a ladder in its collective pantie hose. How people dress takes up too much energy for a country that ought to be figuring out how to do things more efficiently. I ask you. How much can it matter that you are wearing slingbacks when picking up a piece of paper from some government institution? Apparently, an enormous amount, if we are to believe the reports in the local papers this week (see Nation report). I'm amazed that when babies are born, there is not a set of clothes on hand to pop on the urchin in case someone walks in and sees 'wee willie winky' flopping around, or such.

Admittedly, the picture in the paper might have some people huffing and puffing, but what is the purpose of these kind of 'dress codes'? We read that people trying to conduct business at the Registration Department yesterday were turned away. What a way to become acquainted with the spanking new Barbados Supreme Court Complex at Whitepark Road, St Michael but rather how the people were dressed.

We understand that the people, mostly women, were not allowed past the security scanners and into the department to apply for or collect birth, marriage and death certificates, decree absolutes or transact other business. People felt it was "foolishness". What is wrong with wear a sleeveless shirt, when you live in a country with temperatures often in the mid-high 80 degrees Fahrenheit? This kind of ridiculousness is what makes people like the laughing stock of the world. We have nothing better to worry about? If the women came in draped in a sack to collect a form, just let her conduct her business.

I've come face to face with these rules, posted at court buildings. By which time it is too late to change anyway. They also relate to whether males can wear body armour in the form of ear or body rings. I guess if it's in the navel and covered then you may sneak in. Wild one!

Come on Barbados, get a life and let business move efficiently. If we want to create work for people, then let more of them clear up the things that make the country look like a pig sty at times. Better still, try to avoid situations like "Efforts to reach the Registrar of the Supreme Court, Marva Clarke were unsuccessful and a call to Deputy Registrar Laurie Ann Smith-Bovell was not returned." The public service is there to serve the public not to suit themselves and go on unauthorised leave when it pleases. Being stuck up in a suit or so-called 'proper clothes' is still stuck up. It's anal, and its backward looking.

Read what the "Discover Barbados" website tells visitors (see http://www.barbados.org/dress.htm).

• Bring clothes for the tropics.
• Light cotton dresses and light jackets for formal wear.
• Casual slacks and lightweight sports for the times when you are not in a bathing suit.

They explain the layout better: 'While Barbados is a fun holiday island, there are dress codes, and because of 300 years of conservative British heritage, formal attire is still seen at times other than weddings and funerals. Business men wear a shirt and tie and sometimes a jacket. Women wear smart dresses. It's a good idea to wear pants and shirt when visiting the bank, it looks more respectful and gives you a pocket for your wallet.'

They should make a note of the codes in case visitors have to do some court-related business.

I wonder why the courts do not do like some of those wonderfully fussy restaurants that have ties, jackets, and other 'proper' attire on hand to lend to 'untidily' dressed patrons. A friend of mine told me that in Jamaica, this is essentially done by vendors having ties, sensible shoes and blosuses with sleeves for sale outside such buildings. Way to go, Jamaica! Make the thing pay.